Custody of a child has to do with the “care “control and maintenance of a child which may be awarded by a court to one of the parents. On this note, the court does consider the guardianship, welfare, and education of the child; take the interest of those children as the paramount consideration.
Court considerations may include the following:
- Age and sex of a child: There is no rule of law which opined that girls should be with their mother and boys with their father, neither any considerations on the tender age of the child after divorce, but the custody depends on circumstances that surround the whole scenario.
- The child wishes: A child may be interviewed privately and the wishes of the child will be treated with caution as this may be coloured either by his or her age or parental influence.
- Education/religion: There is a consideration on child education and religion making sure that a child interest is reflected.
- The financial status of parents is also being considered, believing that the one who has a stable financial status ought to have the upper hand in providing the need of the child.
Having said all this, I do not agree with any of it because:
- A woman does not need financial stability before being married because she is a helpmate. A wife having money is an added advantage and not a priority.
- Interviewing a child is not necessarily good because for example; if a child is crying and sees her mother she will stop instantly, and if a child is crying also and the father comes in with a biscuit in his hand he will stop crying also. Children are fond of their mother but they can cling to their father if there is an instant gratification they will get from him.
The dangling bell of globalization has brought about rapid brain tic, the culture of divorce should not be practised at all. I did not say that a marriage that’s is not working out should still stress to tangle but rather; child custody is not for men.
Using my Tribe “Igbo” as a case study: As a child, I never witnessed where a couple goes to court and get divorced; but if they are having problems, both families, will settle it, but perhaps they fail, the Traditional ruler will come in even the church elders. But the trend these days is divorce.
WHO IS A WOMAN AND WHO IS A MAN?
A woman: She is that Homo sapiens human with two outstanding breasts and have the prerequisites of childbearing. A woman is passionate, courageous, brave, A woman tolerates, has long-suffering and the sweetness that surrounds her is unimaginable.
A man: He is that head of a family who has the prerequisites of impregnating a woman. He has a beast-like heart, autocratic, hard-hearted, and easily angered…
Women are just honey pie, if not why do men melt like wax in their presence?
- The bond between a mother and a child is so strong, it starts from the womb of a woman. Right in the womb, a child listens to her mother; laugh when she laughs, get angry when she gets, rejoices when the mother does same, have fear when the mother is terrified and also eats when she does. Indeed women are great.
- The breast milk that comes out from a woman breast has its own bond too, Men cannot and will not understand this.
For example; when a breastfeeding mother leaves her baby and goes out, she might not feel anything. But as soon as her child gets hungry and starts crying, her breast will be swollen and starts itching her, immediately she will start running home because her baby is calling. If she delays a little longer definitely she must surely meet her child crying “what a bond”.
CUSTODY OF A CHILD: Call a spade a spade’. Custody of a child should not be given to a man but:
If a woman is on drugs, suffering from madness, prostituting, sick or dead, the government should take custody of the child’s welfare only. Allowing the man to take care is just like telling an old woman to climb a tree.
When a man divorce; he is single again and no matter the level of his financial status, he cannot buy a mother for that child, and a couple with his selfish gregarious nature, he will definitely move outside and start prostitution again… (I don’t know why women are referred to as prostitutes whereas men are the real culprit.)
I am not being harsh on men but what I am saying is true”
When will a divorced a man have the time to take care of a child? From work to a bar, from bar to girlfriends house, then to party. I have said several that any African man for example who can boldly say that he is capable of taken care of a child like a woman is a congenital liar. I know that there are at least 2% of a widower who does that with the help of a maid, mother-in-law or second wife, but if you see such man ask him ‘how far?’
A divorced man having custody of a child is so dangerous in the sense that, such a child is prone to be exposed to harsh experiences and wrong upbringing because his socialization will be from pillar to post.
But women are special, kind-hearted. In animal kingdom for example; you dare not underestimate the strength of a cock, how far it will fly until an eagle comes to carry her chicks, a cock will fight till date to make sure no harm is melted on any of her chicks.
A woman is a fighter, she is a replicate of love, even in the bible, Virgin Mary showered such love on Jesus.
A woman is an embodiment of love and strength, she can do everything to make sure her child is okay,
A woman devotes her maximum time for her child and showers her with melted love even pray fervently for her child
“You that are reading this are you still in doubt that child custody should not be given to a man? I want to ask you “If death knocks at the door of your parents at the same time, whom would you save first and why?
Your answer will definitely be “my mother”… do you know why? (A mother and her child is being entangled with inseparable blood bond rather than a father,
Therefore; the custody of a child should be given to a woman. Even if that woman is not financially stable, the court should force the man to be paying the woman for the up-keep of the child.
My advice to those who are deriving joy in divorcing their wife and taken custody of their child is this, “Don’t be fooled by a court judgement, wait and see, as that child grows and came to the sense of reasoning his or her first question will be “where is my mother? No matter how you twist the story, you will be amazed that one faithful morning, your door will upon and behold…your divorced wife will great you good morning, you can even get the beating of your life from your son if you try to question why.
Men’ explicate yourselves from having child custody because you’re playing a hide and seek future gain which you will definitely loose.