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“Oliver De’Coque a Nigerian musician in one of his album sang about a child.

He said” If you born a boy; a child is a child

If you born a girl; a child is a child

If you born a girl or a boy; a child is a child

Anyone God give’s to you; receive it with good faith.

Everyone likes to sing the song but they don’t tend to reason the meanings.

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First “God created a Man” Adam; did he end there, he is fully aware that he’s missing something in his life, therefore “He gave him a woman ‘Eve’.

Why was Adam so excited to have Eve around? Or is it impossible for God to have given Adam another man., God perceived that Adam needed a beautiful vessel that will complete him.

Every man is born of a woman if you argue that you came to this world via a caesarian fine, but at least a woman shade your vulnerability until you were brought out.

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Go and multiply: Whose womb will receive the seed of multiplication? Woman right.  Is not difficult for God to Just send Jesus from Heaven and he will land on earth and start his work, He thought “there must be a carrier, ‘a woman, Mary. This connotes one thing; that Women are so special in the eyes of God. Roman Catholic sing

“God has counted me

“As God has counted me

“Who will count me out?

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God has counted female and no man, even husband, society has any right to count them out.

The question is; why preference goes to male than female almost all the whole world especially in Africa?  Does it mean that female are less human, nonentities or shouldn’t have been created at all?


  • African believe that a male child is “ONOCHIE” a family replacement, why the female is not part of the family.
  • A male child will maintain and retain the family name but female change their name to that of their husband.
  • Male marry from outside into the family to continue the linage while women married to an outsider and her name is cut out from her family forever.
  • Male is the epitome of customs and tradition why a female is tradition defilers. I.e. when a girl child grows and gets to the age of menstruating, she is not allowed to touch some delicate traditional items because there is a belief that the menstrual period is impure.
  • African male performs traditional right to the ancestors why female play the second Fidel. I.e., in Igbo tradition a female is not allowed to pray on a cola-nut or even break it.
  • Most traditional chores are done by male why there is a belief that women can only stand and watch from a distance without making any contribution.ie, a female is not allowed to climb trees, cut palm fruit, tap palm wine etc., then there is no relevance for female staying around.

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Generally, marriage for African man means one thing “Childbearing” any woman who did not bear a child is a she-man and should go; and the ones who gave birth only to females is not relevant.

Using Igbo as a case study: IGBO is the original inhabitants of the eastern part of Nigeria and constitutes the third largest ethnic group in Nigeria.  The traditional Igbo society is very gender-sensitive.  In a family, if a child is born, the sex is determined and if the baby was a male, that meant greater joy for the parents, for the man, joy because he has a man who will take his place after his death and continue his family line; joy for the mother because that will properly entrench her in her husband’s heart.  A woman who has no son has no seat in her husband’s house.  Having a son means for her that nothing can uproot her from the family.

A son further means having a VOICE to defend you in the family.

However, if the child is a girl, the husband and the wife receive it with mixed feelings.  A family without a male child is a call for sorrow.

For the man, is sorrow because no one will continue his lineage, they believe that female children are like “lending other people vineyard” while yours is unkempt because a female is to be married off.


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The issue of having a male child has a lot of implications which is centred on women only:

  • Unfulfilled life: A woman who has no male child has no status, and thereby accorded with no respect; without a male child; a woman is considered as barren and has no history attached to the family linage.
  • Divorce: There is a 90% tendency that any woman without a male child is considered to be a slave in her husband house.  Is better for that woman to go back to her father’s house than to be in her husband’s house without a hair. African men automatically send a woman packing in other to bring in another woman who will give him a male.
  • Death: In my community one single woman gave birth to 7 girls concurrently, she was advised to stop, there is fear in her that her husband is trying to bring in another woman, she took in again, during delivery she died, the man did not mourn for her up to a year and he remarried. Who losses?; a second incident I witnessed was in Ihiala Anambra State where a man refuses to donate blood for his wife simply because she gave birth to a female, making it the total of three girls they’ve had, the man sighed and worked out and the woman died.

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WAY FORWARD; Women should marry an educated man, who can decipher between white and black, if the marriage is not working out because of given birth to girls please run for your life instead of losing it.

Men reasoning towards the issue female is too poor; and one can ask if they have a brain.  The question is…” from whose testicles does sperm pops-up. The determinant of given birth to a male child is from the man, “What men garbage in, women garbage it out the same way.

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African men need to wake up and leave women alone, after all, there are African women who are recognized globally more than Men who glued their brain with culture. Women can only make lemonade when you give them lemon, men come out of the shell and have a rethink.

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