Marriage vows are solid promises of two mature Adult “male and female” who agreed to come together as they confessed love for each other and seal it with a vow, cement it with a ring.
The necessity of 7 vows of marriage as a fraud, how can two mature adult seal themselves with lies.’ marriage to a woman as to a man is not a necessity.
When I was young when I hear marriage, my mind goes man and woman who entangled in an inseparable belief of trust, maturity, love, transparency, openness longsuffering, humility, and decency. “Wives are young men’s mistress; companions for middle age and old man nurses” (Essays of marriage and single life). But I have realized that the 7 vows of marriage is an illusion.
The question is: How have the 7 vows of marriage manifested in married people’s lives?
“NO MAN SHOULD MARRY UNTIL HE HAS STUDIED ANATOMY. Being a husband is a whole-time job, that’s why so many husbands fail; they cannot give their attention to it.
“Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance (pride and prejudice)
“Marriage, to tell the truth, is evil, but it is a necessary evil (Fragment)
There are no specific wedding vows in the bible, but only inspirational words of marriage are found in the bible i.e. Ephesians 5:25,” Husband love your wives, just as Christ loved the church, it went ahead to educate us on the view of what love connotes:
- Love must be patient
- Love must be kind
- Love does not envy
- Love does not dishonour others
- Love is not self-seeking
- Is bot easily angered
- Love does not keep a record of wrongs etc.
Genesis 2:24 “Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, they shall become one flesh.
- I ———-take you———- to be my wife/husband and these things I promise you.
- To have and to hold; from this day forward.
- For better and for worst.
- For richer, for poorer,
- In Sickness and in health,
- To love and to cherish.
- Until death do us part; this is my solemn vow.
It might interest you to know that every word enshrined in these 7 vows is deceit and lie. This is where I disagree with Geoffrey Chaucer who opines that “love is blind” For love to be blind there ought to be a maximum tolerance and transparent love’ is this evitable. Whereas marriage is a union where two different people with different genetic blood join together in matrimony, therefore the claim of 1+1=1 as marriage arithmetic is wrong.
In my own view; it can be:
- (1+1=1-1+1) or
Let me explain this; the first means when a woman and a man join together as husband and wife and became one, and later divorced. The second is when after divorced a man can go ahead and marry another wife. The 3rd is when a woman did not give birth and the husband will marry a second wife.
This, explains that there are inevitable in marriage. Marriage vow means oath of oneness, why will one engage in saying things they cannot possibly know,
How will you know whether you will still love him or her for the next 10 years? i.e., women are prone to depreciate in beauty faster than men, they can also gain a lot of weight as a result of childbearing, As a man, I ask you’ ’will she feel attracted to you for the rest of your life? .I also ask you the woman’ ’Do you know whether you will be attracted to him for the rest of your life?.
If you have not seen, haven’t you head where a husband ran away from his matrimonial home or divorce just because “The way my wife looks now is not how she is when we mate newly”
Does it mean that women are ignorant of the incoherent ideology in men toward women, or have men forgotten the gregarious nature of loving more than three women at a time?
How can a woman or a man take a vow of the lie of such; what do you mean by ‘To love and to hold, for better and for worst?
Listen; men do not hold one woman, and women do not love in worst point-blank.
Men vow in marriage which proceeds from their mouth is just like cigarette smoke that disappears when been blown out. While women’s is like the smoke that emanates from ritual fuelwood to the gods.
The worst part of it is the oath of “till death”
- You cannot predict what will happen between two of you, How your values, morals and interest might involve.
- You cannot know where the trajectory of your life will take you both emotionally and literally as you move through it.
- You cannot know who you will meet, the path you will cross with others and who you yourself will become as you grow change and progress through life.
The marriage vow is deceit, they are huge promises I would argue because we cannot predict what the future will bring and thus we cannot make promises based on blindness.
- You cannot make promises with regards to what you do not know.
- How many married couples are steadfast with their vows in the worst situation?
- How many marriages have to stand tight when the family is broke financially?
- How many couples are willing to take care of their partners when you are the one to help them poo or bath?
- Who is that woman or man that has an emergency situation in his or her marriage and you chose to stay?
- Tell me that young man who boldly show off their wedding ring?
When we talk about progeny in marriage, we consider about having children too, many homes are broken today simply because there is no cry of a baby heard in that house then one will ask whether marriage is about children production factory.
Every vow in marriage is a lie, 50% of people are divorced or having the second wife today just because their partner in vow crime cannot conceive: what a lie;
Every vow in marriage is a lie: Are we counting the percentage of people who separated because one partner is sick or dying? I want to see that woman who is at peace with a husband who cannot provide even on undies for her,
There are married unhappy couples, married emotional divorced couples. These set of people are generally unhappy…
The language of wedding vows perpetuates the illusion that someone can promise to do something that one cannot possibly know.
Marriage vow is a falsehood, it sets people and their relationship up to fail because it perpetuates hugely high expectations. Expectations that are most of the time not really.
One great desire in marriage is both to love and to be loved, but this idea is fake promises based on idealism and delusion and likely to lead to great disappointment and headache.
Romantic love dominates our lives and thoughts and it should be a huge part of life, as its beautiful and fantastic thing yet when we attempt to honour the specialness of the bond and the deep affection, we feel for one another, w often lie.
A friend of mine ones told me that he will not wed; because; he thinks that the vow we take in marriage is for ceremonial gratification and not real; In his view, he said when his marriage gets worst he will definitely withdraw because he can never tolerate the “worst”.
Of a truth, I think he’s right. Let it not be that I am biased, but the truth remains that in marriage vow, we mistakenly promise to do something that we cannot possibly know,
The canned script we do read out during wedding tends to set the marital relationship up for headache and failure because is not always so.
Lifelong love is a possible and amazing thing. It is better to just say “I want to take you —– today as my husband or wife so we can work things out for our own good and save yourself the deceit of marriage vows, stress and disappointments and be happier rather than binding yourself with a bunch of lies that will dwindle your social, physical and marital life forever,